My First Breakup Vacation

Going on an “unplanned solo” trip ? Really? Isn’t Crazy? Where ? Why Solo ? Is Everything All Right? Huh.. So many questions.. I know, guys…

But yes, sometimes you don’t need a reason to do something crazy, and sometimes you do have a reason to do something like that.. remember the movie Queen? By the way, mine was not so bad though or maybe actually it was..Umm, Let’s see . Remember the movie “Two States” ? A Punjabi North Indian Munda, meets a beautiful South Indian girl, they fall in Love.. go through all the “Anyay” family drama and all.. and then finally get married and live happily ever after!! Actually, not all “Two States” end up happily ever after in life… some of them just fall apart (for good) as well (retrospective). But less you know at that moment that what’s being taken from you will be returned to you by life with interest and bonus 😎 someday as long as you can keep yourself going. So, here I was in 2008, a little bit shaken by the breakup and somewhat clueless. Now, I had two choices: sit home with those sad songs in the background and a glass in my hand or do something crazy. And I just can’t bear those old sad songs man, even today I just can’! I think they kind of play with your mind and make you feel more miserable than you actually were Arghhhh…Clearly, my heart was broken, but my mind was operating at its total capacity and telling me that loss is not mine!. When you give your best to a relationship, and still it doesn’t work, then letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself and other people. And that’s not overconfidence but enlightenment. I guess I was born with intelligent auto-updates. When you imagine or weave a life with someone, you tend to think about the happy moments you might be spending together. So, I decided why not just do that and live all those moments on my own, which I thought we would live together one day. I felt that if I leave those moments there, they will always remind me of those possibilities. Lingering on old stuff is not my way of living life. So, to bring the best out of me and make myself a better person, I embarked on a journey that was just the beginning of my upcoming and peaceful life. 

So, I made my first solo trip to South India in 2008. The amazing part is that it was all UNPLANNED!! Literally, the only thing I was sure of was that I would come back in 8 days and live every moment in these eight days to the fullest. No calls, no messages, no thoughts.. nothing, just live in the present. Apart from that, I had only thought about my first destination, which was Kerala's state. So, I woke up at 4 in the morning, determined to make the crazy trip. I had my favorite start of the day with my “tea” and Parle G biscuits (man they can make you fat.. my current ziggly-wiggly muffin top belongs to those), had a bath, and started for the airport. After facing some weird looks from the counter agent for buying an over-the-counter one-way ticket (you know people in India are pretty friendly and concerned…), I finally had my card swiped for my flight to Trivandrum.. Now, after all the checking in and security dance at the airport, I was all set to board the flight. So, I had one more tea and snacks at the airport and waited for the flight to board. And once I am on the flight. Zzzz 😴.. I just slept (trust me, I can sleep in flights like a log, a few stories on that too for later). And then I woke up right after landing when the air hostess shook me up ( Oh! Was I really sleeping? 🤔😉). And now, here I was in a city that makes you sweat; this was the first feeling I got there. And standing outside the airport wondering why I am really here!! Where to go from here now ?.. I mean it.. So, I found a breakfast place (I cannot think when I am hungry for sure.. even I left an exam early once because I am soooooo damn.. hungry), and had some breakfast.. Now, when the tummy got settled, I started thinking what to do next.. all of you who are thinking why didn’t I just Google.. remember I am talking about 2008, when smartphones were rarely available and that also with the internet.. so let’s concur that Google was not an option.. So, I called my aunt (another option was gone, you see..) who visited the place a few years back and after answering her all queries like - why am I there; who is with me.. and all those la blah blah blah blah blah.. Huh.. She finally told me that I can go to Kollam beach.. so I had my second destination set for now.. Now, the tricky part has started, and that is to bargain with auto guys in India or south India..Aiyyo.. (Guys, when you are in Love, Love is the only language you really learn).. they will not talk to you in Hindi or English even if they can.. but something you get out of every relationship and mine was “Learning” a few Malayalam words, so surely every love leaves behind something within you. Finally, riding through those green and winding roads of Trivandrum city and pondering over those thoughts of the past conversation (I know, I said no thoughts, but what love will be that which vanishes so fast..), I managed my auto ride to Kollam beach… the beach was nice and windy, not very clean though. So here I was with a backpack and a cap at the Kollam beach..but then you realise the disadvantage of roaming alone!! Where to leave the bag now? Don’t worry; Luckily, I was not carrying any laptop or anything like that.. it was all-time with myself.. So, I just sat there on the plank near the beach and drifted in my thoughts here and there. And then I realized a bunch of guys of my age or younger was probably just looking at me from a distance and probably wondering what a guy with a backpack sitting alone near the beach was actually doing? So, one of them kind of waved his hand, and I responded smiling. That was my first close and nice encounter with strangers on my solo trip. Actually it was hard for them to believe that one just came on an unplanned trip all alone. Maybe most of us are actually used to roaming around in a group. The rest was all fun, including boating, water games and a group lunch. I spent a couple of hours with them and then moved on to my next destination, Kanyakumari - just a few hours of bus trip. Okay, enough of Kerala for now!!. 

That late afternoon, I started my bus journey to Kanyakumari in a Government bus full of locals (I was the only one in jeans and t-shirt there). 

As I was leaving the state, I would confess that I felt like I was leaving many things behind; you see we start weaving around many things with time and I was in the mind that this is also going to one of those places which I will refer to as mine; that’s not gonna be the case anymore so you do feel sad… However,I had to move on.. It wasn’t a choice but still a choice. Visiting this place was important as I really wanted to live those memories which I imagined about and get over those. And today, I feel that it did actually help. So, possibly these things don't take you out fully from that deep down sadness,  but they do work as a stepping stone towards that. 

So, with these thoughts in a hot and humid bus ride with all dust around in the month of August, finally I reached Kanyakumari - a small and pretty southernmost part of mainland India. 

That reminds me of the challenge to find a hotel for “single guy” in Kanyakumari .. yeah, you got it right. It was hell difficult for me to get a hotel in Kanyakumari (can you imagine!!), because I was single! . Hotel guys were not ready to give me a room saying they don’t give hotels to single guys and I was like.. what!! Finally, I end up making a hotel guy talk to my Mom to finally secure a hotel… yeah.. it’s embarrassing but that’s how it was (I agree. I was not looking for a 5-star hotel at that time… solo trip post breakup doesn’t mean wasting money guys!!)

So, I settled down, freshened up and then walked down to the temple near the ocean.. and I must say I have not forgotten that cool breeze after a long day out there.. It was amazing to sit back there and reflect that you are so far away from everyone you know.. how far you have come, where you really want to go and most of all, how vast this ocean really is.. 

While coming back, I got to know that I can go to Vivekanand ashram in the morning, and I booked a boat trip to the holy place. That morning's sunrise and visit to Vivekanand Ashram was so peaceful and energetic. Somewhere sitting in the Ashram, I did feel the inner peace which I was searching for. Something inside gave me a thought that it’s not necessary that you will only meet one soulmate in your lifetime. There might be many of those who exist and one day you will find the right one from one of those. I don’t like so many people or girls for that matter so surely others also have the same right to like me or not like me. Those realizations actually bring you a lot of peace and allow you to let go of bad feelings and let you cherish the part you enjoyed the most in that relationship. These places give you such a boost and peace of mind..but how long did it last! 

My next destination was Rameshwaram. So, I decided to take the next night bus to Rameshwaram..(Guys! That reminds me, never rely on the washrooms in Government bus stations, you may not end up using it.. no need to tell why!! Pathetic!! And finally the bus trip on those narrow dark roads started, and I felt relaxed and decided to go into my sweet lumber. Less I was aware that when I wake up, it will end in a roadside dig!! 

Yes, our bus met with an accident and toppled over in the middle of night between nowhere near any city or village.. right on a pitch dark highway… but let me not forget to tell you that not all accidents leave only a bad memory… 

Now after ensuring that people in my surroundings as well as myself are not that hurt (in fact, I was absolutely fine somehow… luck, fate?) I got off the bus to see how bad the situation was and what to do next.. Now, standing there on that dark highway, suddenly I heard a sweet female voice calling out.. Hello!! And I was like…. Oh! Yeah…  Didn’t I tell you before that there was  a foreign tourist also sitting next to me on the bus ? So, here she was... (with some magic in place, everything gets right, you see..) She was worried though not hurt.. So, we discussed where we are from, where are we going etc and then I realized that I got beautiful company, who was on a similar solo trip, for a short while on my trip. (Ugh... I wish it could have lasted longerrrr.. ) So, I finally collected my luggage, managed to stop another bus after waiting for an hour and managed to negotiate that the bus would accommodate some of us to our next destination - Rameshwaram. Oh, in between, she was with me, in case you are curious! 😉

So, finally the long, thrilling and scary night actually ended up in a sweet and memorable one. Got to know some more things about Finland on the way, some more perspective  about life as well as love and relationships. Yeah, sometimes talking to strangers without having a fear of getting judged helps you a lot. One it allows you to talk your heart out and secondly they will be utterly candid and honest with you about anything they didn’t find right in what you say..  

Anyways, I along with my new company, visited Rameshwaram temple and enjoyed the sunrise - it was different that day, you see!!. I must say that it was one of the coldest baths (apart from Gomukh glacier) I ever had in my life. Taking a bath from 22 wells of Rameshwaram temple was not a child's play - chilly but peaceful....( Oh, peace! My brain doesn’t work in such cold conditions, so I am sure peace comes automatically). Post that bath the cup of tea was bliss...  After roaming around and spending a few more hours in the market near the temple and grabbing my lunch, I realised that most of the day has already passed and it’s time for me to get going and the same was true for my company as well. Einstein said it right that time is relative, it runs quite faster in a good company! So, eventually I decided to part away from my “company” and move towards my next destination - Madurai - a place where I almost lost my -  wait for it.. 😊

I came on this trip for a reason, didn’t I tell you in the beginning? Yes, right.. and I ended up having another soft one just a few hours back again. Life is a vicious cycle man!!. Really ? Just kidding guys... So, in Madurai, I decided to have some extra relaxing after a few days of traveling. Sleep helps in everything I am telling you.. After all,  I was on a leisure trip. So, I booked a nice hotel this time (also to avoid all single guy drama again) and just decided to first eat, sleep and relax for a day.. 

Woke up with the hymns of the temple and realised that I am actually very close to the Meenakshi temple which we used to read in our general knowledge book throughout our childhood. So, I decided to make a visit to the holy place. Meenakshi temple is actually huge and symmetrical from all four directions and I learnt this in a hard way!! How, I learnt it ? Oh, I almost lost my shoes that day 😎. I entered from one gate and got directed (the temple was going through some renovations as well) with the crowd around the temple premise and came out from the other one.. simple 😊. And then, it took me one more hour to reach the right gate in the night to find my shoes finally. I told you I almost lost my “SOLE”, C'mon, it’s not always “SOUL”.... Anyways, it was fun to roam around barefoot in Madurai for almost an hour.. sometimes, it’s good to be alone. Finally, with my shoes on, the first thing I was looking for was good food. Luckily, I did find one good place and had a good meal of the day. Then I went shopping for my family and while coming back to the hotel - buying Sarees for Mom’s is a tough business!! 

By now, I knew my next destination 😊 Kodai-kanal.. Huh.. I never knew that it was so close out there. I love hill stations.. 

I didn’t know any of those guys in the photo above until we got down to the first stop on the way to Kodaikanal - except the second one from your left (that’s me). And those of you who are wondering about the horse, I can actually manage horse riding in normal situations, so it’s not just a pose 😊

It was a pleasant trip to KodaiKanal with some more diverse fun in the woods, clouds and water. I loved the weather and the wind and no backpack this time. I hate traveling with luggage..  

Finally next evening I took a bus to Bangalore to spend a day there and met my childhood friend and took a flight back to Pune with loads of memories in my bag as well as on Camera. 

So, this is where my 8 days memorable and crazy trip came to an end. Did it fully bring me out of that breakup stuff ? Probably not fully,  but it did help a little I believe. It did help me by distracting myself from those regular thoughts which I was getting everyday. Good part of post breakup travels is that it keeps you busy with many new things - you need to talk to strangers, need to handle the uncertainties of finding food and places, figure out transportation and safety, deal with new language barriers and keep yourself active.

However, in the end as an additional learning I also felt that exploring our own country in such a leisurely way when you don’t have a time schedule or planning or risk of getting judged by someone was an amazing getaway for me. Most of the time, we are trying to find solutions to our problems where we actually are. Right in our cocoon. We just keep doing the same thing day in and day out. But then, if you always do what you always did! You will always get what you always got.. isn’t it ?. 

Besides, we are not ready to travel alone either because we are scared of the unknown or the loneliness which may surround us during those solo travels. But, I found that there are many like me who are traveling and looking for company out there in the woods. They might be going through similar phases and may help you get a new perspective. So, if we can leave our fears behind and take a step to explore the world, it can actually leave you with memories of your lifetime - and some beautiful friends as well 😉.  

Okay, time to go for a tea guys.. see you back soon. probably with another solo trip . Stay tuned!. I told you one wasn’t enough 😎